Blog & Nano Ready

Today I make the blog public. I've spent some time selecting recent autowrites that best reflect where I stand with my writing. The autowrite, or automatic writing, is something I have been practicing for a couple of years, now, usually in the wee hours before the various alarms of the house begin waking my wife and kids. I pour some coffee, sit down either at my desk or in the big recliner and start tapping whatever the hell comes to my dream-infused brain. Since my focus these days has mainly been on getting stories out, especially the novel, Drum, this will be the primary aim in my blog entries.

The purpose of the blog frankly is to keep me honest, keep me on track. I have a tendency to stray into destructive behavior and inaction. Brackish Currents will at least be a way to let the world know that I'm still working, still finding a way.

The name. Why Brackish Currents? I have always been in love with the idea of blurry edges, one reality merging with another. There are sea creatures and river creatures; and there are the plants and animals that thrive in the middle somewhere. I'm one of those.

I will say, that since Nano is beginning tomorrow, those will be the waters in which I will be swimming for the next month. I will try to keep the blog alive with a few gulps of air now and then, primarily in the "Flotsam" area, where I will be posting my Nano wordcount periodically. 

Join me on Nano! If you are doing Nano this year, please "buddy" me. My user name is Bucket, which is the title of the novel I was going to work on before my bait and switch.

This blog and the directions I want to take it.

I intend in this blog to chronicle my path not only towards becoming a writer of substance. I’m writing the blog to push myself into the world more, be less reclusive, less self-absorbed, less alienating of my friends and family. But these are criticisms, which to speak of pragmatically, serve little more purpose than to grind myself down even further. For I’m not one to believe in total self transformation, not to the extent that one lives to reflect upon it. Life is process; the change is not complete until the very last breath. But I do subscribe to the transcendentalist view that total transformation exists quite literally inside every breath, step, word, blink. Real transformation is not an act of volition, I propose. It comes instead from contemplation, letting go, and making the self open to the infinitesimal changes occurring in the molecular environment we call existence. And no, I am not talking about a “Dave moment” (2001 A Space Odyssey) in which space and time conflate, merging the subject with the universe. I’m alluding more to the mundane transformations that occur within every moment, whether we choose to be aware of them or not: the extraordinary shifts shaping our every instance.

Sometimes, I am more aware. This last week or so has presented me with some rather clear signals for the way forward. It’s as if I’ve been driving a curvy road in a valley fog all this time and rounding a bluff at a certain elevation, I’m emerging from the top of the cloud. The first decision was to take Nanowrimo seriously this year, and in a classic display of caution (timidity), my focus would be a “fun” novel on the painting crew, an idea I’ve been mulling since the last Nano: a distraction, I rationalized, to “relight the pilot” of my writing routine. Then, I got together with my old friend Dave Anderson, now a gifted counselor, who after a long conversation over coffee commanded me to “write the book.” “Okay,” I said, a simple reply to a simple exhortation. The next very strong signal was a combination of dreams (perhaps inspired by the Paranormal Activity series, though not scarily so) in which several individuals in my life are telling me not to waste another moment. Finally, Kim Stafford’s reading the other night struck me profoundly right in the center of my forehead. Although his approach to telling the story of his brother is the memoir, the method is very much the manner, or should I say the line of inquiry followed by my character, Jade.

Kim alluded to the idea that it takes twice the effort to suppress taking the most important step towards a goal than actually taking the step. He mentioned that publishing his book on his brother took 25 years of not publishing it, 25 years of carrying a progressively burdensome load. He finished his talk with an invitation to release our own loads through writing. I’ve decided to use this Nano to write Jade’s story, the parallel story in Drum, and perhaps the most important aspect of the novel.

This is the story that needs to be at the heart of the novel, for it is not, as it turns out, about M&C and their disappearance; it’s about Jade and how she survives. A Goddard advisor whose insights I deeply respect and appreciate, let me know in in no uncertain terms that this book is about Michael and Cordelia, not Jade. I do now declare my intent to fly in the face of this comment. Although the fiction of Drum encompasses “what might have been” (Kim Stafford citing his father) the truth with M&C, the book is ultimately about Jade and her own journey towards wholeness.

So, tomorrow, November 1st, I’ll be telling Jade’s story.